ALMOST CANCER-FREE!
NO COINCIDENCEThat we are leaving town on Resurrection Day headed for Houston and my last operation to be cancer-free has not escaped my notice. I know that it is no coincidence because -- with God -- there is no such thing!
AN INDELLIBLE MEMORYA few days ago I meditated on the passage from Isaiah 53. I remember the 1977 Franco Zeffirelli mini-series “Jesus of Nazareth.” Lawrence Olivier played the role of Nicodemus. I’m sure you remember it. For many years, it was shown each year during week before Easter.
Zeffirelli used that character to recite this passage from Isaiah as a soliloquy set against the backdrop of the Passion and Crucifixion as it unfolded. It was indelibly etched into my memory from the first time I saw and heard it. I believe the Holy Spirit gave Olivier inspiration and insight, then anointed the performance because He had a message to convey. From that brief part of the series, I gained an understanding of the verse which I did not have prior to seeing it. (And that was five years before I was filled with the Holy Spirit!)
Even now as I describe it to you I feel the same sense of awe and reverence that I felt 31 years ago! I watched each year and each year the Lord deepened my insight into this verse. In the summer of 1982, I invited the Holy Spirit to dwell in my heart. Consequently, the next spring -- when the mini-series ran again -- I got even more insight into not only this verse, but every part of the Bible I read!
Although I have not seen the mini-series in several years, I still remember that soliloquy. In fact, anytime I read that passage, I hear it in Olivier’s voice!
Anyway, I was drawn to meditate on this verse again this week. Having lived through the personal challenges of the last 2 years, I read with a new eyes.
OUR COLON CANCER TIMELINEJust to refresh your memory of my timeline, it was Wednesday, March 23, 2006, I left work because I felt so bad. The next day was my appointment with the GI doctor who sent me to ER. The ER doctor sent me home with laxatives. Friday, the laxatives did not work, so I returned to ER and was admitted. March 29, the GI performed an emergency colonoscopy and discovered the blockage. March 30 was the day Dr. Rutledge operated and saved my life. That was also the day we all learned that the blockage was cancerous and had spread to my liver.
March 23, 2006, was the beginning of our colon cancer odyssey. March 23, 2008 begins the last phase of our odyssey of defeating cancer.
SHARING INSIGHTSWith all that in mind, I would like to share the passage from Isaiah 53 with you.
3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid … [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
“He is despised and rejected of men … we hid … [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”I remember at the beginning of 2007, I had just started seeing Dr. Xiong and taking the Camptosar. It upset my stomach terribly and made my hair thin. During that time, I frequently wore ball caps when I left the apartment. I couldn’t get out very much, but when I did, not everyone was welcoming. Many times I could feel people staring at me and judging my appearance without any clue regarding the reason. I could relate a little more to how Jesus must have felt as He was being despised and rejected.
“a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief … ”I remember vividly the waves of sorrow and grief that crashed on me when the results of each test showed that Jesus had not healed me outright. I remember several times when Abraham and I just held each other and wept. The prospect of not being together…let’s just say, neither of us was ready to be without the other.
I remember my very first appointment with Dr. Abdalla. I remember looking at the CT images on the computer screen. I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw the “bubble gum machine” locations of all the many tumors, not just the three large ones. Even before he said anything, I new I was not a surgical candidate. I remember walking across the sky bridge back to the hotel. I said to my mother, “Instead of delivering me out of this, I guess God is going to deliver me through it.” I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Somehow, I knew that if I gave in to that feeling, it was over. Instead, I chose to hold my head high, keep walking … and keep trusting.
“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.”I drew comfort from that fact that Jesus had already carried that grief and sorrow. He had already experienced everything that I was feeling … and he pressed on, mindful of but not surrendering to the disdain of those who looked upon Him and only saw a loser on his way to death.
“But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities … ” It was comforting to realize that God did not give me cancer to punish or teach me or to get my attention. Any parent who would make their child sick to discipline or teach them or get their attention would be arrested for child abuse. No matter what mistakes I have made in my life, Jesus was wounded and bruised for them all. He took my punishment so I could receive his inheritance. That was a regular source of comfort and encouragement.
“ … the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him … ”The word “peace” in this verse comes from the Hebrew word, “shalom” which means “nothing missing, nothing broken.” Everything that could keep me from being whole, Jesus has already addressed. He made is possible for me to be whole in my body, soul and spirit.
“ … and with his stripes we are healed.”This verse has been in my arsenal for many years. There have been many times when the only way I could get relief from pain of some kind was by declaring this verse over myself. The “stripes” mentioned are the wounds caused by the Cat-o’-Nine-Tails. This was a favorite tool used by the Romans to torture people. It was a whip, but unlike a bullwhip, or other whips with a single strand of leather. Instead, it was made with several strands of leather measuring between two and three feet long. The end of each strand is knotted to create greater impact. In many cases, bits of bone or metal were tied into the knots. This way, the strands did not just lash the back of the transgressor, the bone or metal would dig into the flesh. When the soldier drew the whip back to inflict another lash, the bits would tear the flesh. Any more than just a few lashes with one of these would literally tear the recipient’s flesh to ribbons. (I have linked to a
photo of a replica on display in a British museum.)
Jesus was beaten with one of those. And because he was wounded, I am healed. I was healed. I am healed. Because he was tortured mercilessly, I am healed of cancer.
A PARADOXI know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to a natural mind. It seems such a paradox. How can I be healed by a beating someone else took? It’s because the someone wasn’t just anyone. He was the Only One who could do it. He was the perfect man. And only the perfect man could take on all the imperfection of a fallen world and give peace, healing, wholeness and forgiveness in return.
If you have never experienced Jesus in the way I have described, you can. All you have to do is talk to him the way you would talk to a friend. Just say, “Jesus, I want to experience you and know you the way Mary does.” That’s all it takes. He is really not as complicated as many people try to make him!
You all have given so much to Abraham and to me during this ordeal. It is our hope that this update has given something back to you, that this has given you something to ponder this Resurrection Day … and each day.
May this Resurrection Day be the most powerful one ever for you!
Mary and Abraham
